Diary of a Traffic Office Rookie: Chaos With a Name Badge

Follow the diary of a new recruit in a UK traffic office as they navigate jargon, near-miss disasters, and the surprising joys of haulage life.

First day on the desk solo. Phones ringing. Radios buzzing.

Everyone's shouting postcodes like I know where Warrington is. I nodded a lot and prayed. Lesson: The panic fades after hour six.

"Tramping," "double manning," "POA" -- I need a glossary and a stiff drink.

Made the mistake of asking what 'backload' meant. Got laughed at, then handed five to plan. Highlight: Driver offered me a KitKat.

That's a win in this world.

Started to understand the flow. Even helped chase a late truck and rebook a timed delivery. Felt borderline useful.

Team said "good job" without sarcasm. Moral: Survival starts at day three.

Accidentally double-booked a curtain sider. Dispatcher gave me "the look." Driver called me a "keen bean." Not a compliment.

Fixed it -- just. Win: Didn't cry in the loo.

Wrapped the week managing half a shift solo. It wasn't pretty, but it worked.

Celebrated with a lukewarm Greggs and a tiny sense of pride. Takeaway: The chaos becomes familiar. Eventually.

Traffic office life is a crash course in resilience.

It's loud, unpredictable, and sometimes hilarious. One week down. Ready for the next?

Ask me after tea break.