I tracked down the man who saved me from taking my own life five years later
By ELLEN COUGHLAN FOR MAILONLINE[1]
Published: 08:09, 25 November 2024 | Updated: 08:28, 25 November 2024
A man who tried to take his own life has been reunited with the kind stranger talked who talked him down, five years later.
Loti Nambombe, 37, was standing on the edge of Manchester's Greengate Bridge, ready to jump on 11 January 2019, when a gentleman passing by stopped and convinced him to come down.
Loti wanted to find the man who had saved his life, but all he had to go on was his first name - Andy.
Podcast host and journalist Jake Warren saw Loti's story on a social media post in 2022 - and embarked on helping him track down the mystery hero.
In the Message Heard[2] production podcast Finding Andy, Loti was finally reunited with his saviour - but was surprised to realise the pair had a lot more in common then he first thought.
To start his search, Loti took to social media, three years after his suicide attempt, to share his story in the hopes that Andy would come forward.
Sharing a picture of himself on the bridge, he wrote: 'Three years ago today I attempted to jump off this bridge, the 11th January 2019, so every year I celebrate being a survivor.
'I was in a place that I would never wish anyone to be in, I call it darkness, I couldn't see any light, the tunnel was never ending, so I thought. If you know me, then you know I am a happy go lucky guy, the life and soul of the party, the joker the fool, if I could make you smile that makes me happy.
Loti Nambombe, 37, was standing on the edge of Manchester's Greengate Bridge, ready to jump on 11 January 2019, when a passerby stopped and convinced him to come down
'I have got children that I love more then anything, but when you are feeling that low nothing makes sense, you could be surrounded by love but still feel alone. So how did I get so low that I no longer wanted to be on this planet?
I kept my pain to myself so much so that it built up inside me, everyday I felt like a burden to my loved ones.
'I didn't want my loved ones to continue having to struggle to deal with my issues. I thought I would put them out of their misery by not having to worry about me anymore.
'But this wasn't my time to go, a gentleman named Andy saved my life. I still haven't found him.'
Speaking about the week on the lead up to his decision to take his own life, Loti revealed he was trying to push his loved ones away by starting arguments.
He said: 'Instead of me saying to people, "I don't want to be in your life", I was thinking I am going to p*** you off.
I was trying to push people away everyday.'
Loti revealed that on the day he decided to take his own life, he done a full day of work, went to the gym and went for a walk that evening.
He said: 'Emotion just came over me, I started crying, tearing, screaming, saying "I don't want to be here." I starting walking up steps where the bridge is, so I stood at the edge, underneath was the M60 motorway.
'I waited because I could see people walking past, I wanted to see that they have gone first and no cars as well.'
Over the next five years Loti thought about the stranger who saved his life, and he went on a mission to find him, however all he had was the man's name, Andy
Loti finally ended up meeting Andy Hartley five years after he talked him off the bridge and saved his life
Andy revealed he suffered with his own mental health struggles throughout the years and he also contemplated ending his life at one point (Andy Hartley, podcast host Jake and Loti)
He revealed he was getting messages from his fiancee asking if he was finished in the gym but he decided to ignore them.
'I let my phone at the edge of bridge and put it on silent so I couldn't hear it, and I couldn't see it light up, I turned it facedown.
'It was freezing, my hands were red, I decided to lean on the bridge and I put one foot over the side and then another foot over the side , I was holding on with my hands behind.
'I thought let me just wait for the right time to jump, I screamed out so loud in frustration, "I don't want to be here", telling myself I don't care I am done. I was getting all the frustration and energy out of me.
'I don't know how long I was stood there for but I was ready to go, I had no energy left, I thought once I have no energy I was just going to drop anyway.'
Loti said 'out of nowhere' a man with a dog approached him with his 13-year-old son and started speaking to him.
He recalled: 'I don't remember his words, but I do remember he didn't say "are you alright?" because I would of had an answer for that. He was getting closer, and I kept asking him to step back, get away from me.'
The man sent his son home with the dog and decided to stay with Loti, trying to talk him off the edge of the bridge.
Loti said: 'He was talking to me, he told me his name, of all the things, I just remember his name was Andy.
'He said there is other ways, he said he was here to help, I remember saying ''you don't know anything about me, you don't know my story or anything I have been through.''
Loti recalled Andy was 'very calm' and eventually managed to pick up his phone without the depressed Loti noticing and he answered a call from his friend who rushed to the scene to help.
He said: 'I was angry when she appeared, but because he was so calm towards me I couldn't be angry with him, he was holding me and then she took over then and hugged me and wouldn't let go.
'All of a sudden there are sirens everywhere, all the cars had stopped on the M60, and I stood there crying, I didn't want to be here but they kept me here.
'I don't remember much else, the police were there as well, they got me down from the bridge, they put me in the back of a police car and ironically I saw people from my work walking past, they didn't know it was me, I saw my brother walking past, he didn't know it was me in the car.
To start his search, Loti took to social media, three years after his suicide attempt, to share his story in the hopes that Andy would come forward
Loti took this snap on the day he decided to end his life, he said he was smiling even though he felt broken inside
Loti now works for the charity Make Life Kind and travels the UK helping young people
Loti said: 'From that day, I've become an advocate, even more for mental health, and now I manage a charity called Make Life Kind'
Loti has managed to turn his life around and found his purpose working to help others with mental health issues
'They probably thought something has happened here.
My brother didn't know until months later, I didn't speak about it.'
Loti said he always thought he was a good person until he met Andy, and he decided there and then that he wanted to be like him.
He said: 'He opened up my eyes and made me think humanity is real, for just speaking to me, just listening to me, he was patient.
'I want to see him, I want to thank him, I spoke to everyone else that helped me, but not him.'
Journalist Jake got to work finding Andy, enlisting the help of investigative journalist Orla O'Brien.
She asked Loti to send off a subject access request, which would get access to any information that Manchester police have on file about him.
The team hoped it could be a way to find out a bit more about Andy and the events as they unfolded on the evening of the 11 January 2019, however they weren't that lucky because their request was denied.
After a few weeks of searching through records, social media pages and visiting a pub which was close the the bridge, Orla uncovered that the bridge was 'a hot spot' for suicide attempts.
Orla said: 'I got a map up of the local area on my laptop, and I started calling every single premises in the area with a public number.'
However after weeks of searching and speaking to people in the local area, Orla got the phone call she was waiting for.
She said: 'On Friday afternoon, I was power walking up a hill and my phone rang, and I thought, I've got to answer this call because I'd made so many calls in the local area over the past couple of weeks. And when I did, it was a man, and he said, ''hi, I'm Andrew Hartley. I think you might be looking for me.''
'After speaking with Andy, his story matched with Loti's story, and basically he's definitely our guy.
He lives in the local area. He lives right beside the bridge.
'He's a truck driver. He's really big on raising awareness about mental health issues.
He actually has his own story to tell.
'He actually had a football club set up for young men around the local area, where he said it was like an outlet for men to go and talk openly about things going on in their lives.
'And actually, recently, they lost all of their funding over the past couple of months and he's had to shut it down.
Andy told Loti that it was because of his own struggles with mental health that he believes he was able to recognise what he needed to do that night
Loti said: 'Since that night, I've educated, I think, over 300,000 kids around the UK'
'So he was explaining to me how important it is raising awareness about mental health issues. He never forgot Loti, never forgotten. He said all he wants to see is his big smile on his face.
'He said he thinks about him all the time.
And he didn't actually remember his name. He remembered, he'd asked him what his nickname was, and he said, Lol.
'So he always remembered him as Lol, but he didn't know that his name was Loti, basically.'
Jake finally got the chance to sit down with Andy and it turned out he had a lot more in common with Loti then first believed.
Andy revealed he suffered with his own mental health struggles throughout the years and he also contemplated ending his life at one point.
He said: 'I felt like I was extremely mentally alone, and I just did not want to be around.
'My partner who I'm with now, Yvonne, I kind of say that she kept hold of my hand. I was doing bad things.
In the case of like early hours of the morning, I'd be sat there with a knife, trying to get through my wrist.
'And then I was starting to plan how I wanted to end things, because I was blank. I didn't want to be around. I felt like I was just a problem to everyone.
'And with all the long hours that I worked, all the money that I earned, lost the lot, lost the house.
So yeah, it was quite a bad time, and I just wanted out, basically.
'So, to try and get out of my hole, I was under a crisis team at Oldham Hospital. I had numerous visits with them. The crisis team was lifting me up.
'I was also on medication for deep depression.
And I suppose with that tiny little light of, okay, I'm feeling a bit better, I stood on the scales and looked at 18 stone and thought enough is enough.'
Later, Andy recalled the night that he had found Loti on the bridge and revealed how it has impacted him still to this day.
He explained: 'It would have been towards the evening, possibly around 5 o'clock in the evening. Nothing particular stood out. As we was approaching Loti, I looked at him because he was on the brow of the bridge, facing the motorway.
'And as I walked past him, I looked at him.
And as bizarre as this might sound, I kind of recognized the blank look that he had on his face. He was also in tears.
'He did have a plastic bottle with him. I still don't know whether that was alcohol.
He just did not look in a good way.
'He looked blank. It was a weird feeling that I recognized that blank look. It made me uneasy, even though my son and I kept on walking.
And it was only until we passed over the brow of the bridge.
And I said to my son, you're gonna have to wait here a minute. I didn't want my son coming back with me.
'So my son took both of the dogs. And then that's when I walked back to Loti.
And that's when I realized he wasn't in a good state.'
Andy revealed that he signalled to his son to go and get help while he started speaking to Loti.
He said: 'I was stood with Loti, I was just stood in front of him. And I could see he was kind of looking at the motorway. And I thought, he's gone.
'I'm not getting much out of him at all, which is probably why he doesn't remember conversation.
It was pretty much a one-way conversation. I wasn't grabbing his arm.
'And I wasn't trying to tackle him down or anything like that. I just wanted to be there and speak to him until someone was hopefully able to turn up and help things.'
Andy said he son had run into a store and alerted a security guard who called the police.
He added: 'I do remember trying to speak to someone on his phone.
I'm not too sure if that was his girlfriend. I know there was a lady that turned up. And between us, we were speaking to him.
'Suppose we were just trying to reassure him.
Just by having a conversation with him, by having eye contact, I remember looking at him, because I knew the feeling. It just didn't look like he wanted to be around.'
As the police turned up and took Loti into the police car Andy asked could he have one final word with Loti.
He said: 'I just sort of leaned in. I took his hand.
I shook his hand. And I do remember saying, if you are going to Oldham Hospital, if you end up under the crisis team, take what information they give you. If they give you medication, take it.
There's help there for you.
'And I wish you the best. And that was the last time that I seen or heard anything of Loti.'
The podcast host set up a meeting so Loti and Andy could finally reunite after all these years, the pair warmly embraced and chatted through how that fateful meeting in January 2019 changed both their lives.
Speaking to Andy, Loti said: 'I couldn't cross that bridge for a long time because that was where I worked. That building right there.
Fanatics.
'So I think I was off six, seven months, maybe. And it took me, every time I was in the car to go over, like a panic, oh, and I couldn't walk past it. And it was hard because that's where my life was.. it took some time to finally get over that bridge.'
Loti revealed that the police took him to Oldham Hospital on the night of the incident and he had CBT for three or four months.
Loti said he took up running and spent a lot of his time in the gym to try and clear his mind.
He said: 'From that day, I've become an advocate, even more for mental health, and now I manage a charity called Make Life Kind.
'I manage 35 speakers.
Some of them have been through suicide trauma.
'Some of them have been through mental health. Some of them are from, you know, struggle from knife crime, families, etc, and now my role is just to gain people into schools and just get them at grassroots and make a difference. So I'm, that wouldn't have happened without that night.'
Andy told Loti that it was because of his own struggles with mental health that he believes he was able to recognise what he needed to do that night.
Loti added: 'Since that night, I've educated, I think, over 300,000 kids around the UK.
'It's combination of things, you saving me and so many things happening, got me to decide I needed to do, make a difference.
I can't just sit back and, you know, and watch people deteriorate.'
Loti and Andy remain close friends and speak to each other 'almost every other day'.
Speaking to FEMAIL Loti said: 'Listening to the podcast was difficult, but it was heartwarming to listen back to the struggles I went through and hear the pain in my voice and compare that to how I feel now.
'I'm so grateful to Jake for connecting with me and helping me find Andy. It's mad because I just posted about the experience on LinkedIn thinking it was a long shot that anyone would be able to help me find him, but Jake made it happen.
'Andy and I are still in touch - we speak pretty much every other day! He still supports me when my mental health is low, and I know his story now so I can be there for him.
'All in all, it was such a powerful, unreal experience, and I'm very thankful to Jake and the team for having me on the podcast and for finding the man who saved my life.
I just want to Make Life Kind for others.'
For confidential support call Samaritans on 116123 or visit www.samaritans.org
Manchester[3]References
- ^ ELLEN COUGHLAN FOR MAILONLINE (www.dailymail.co.uk)
- ^ Message Heard (messageheard.com)
- ^ Manchester (www.dailymail.co.uk)