Bereaved parents told ‘don’t struggle on your own’

No parent expects to endure the nightmare of outliving their child - and the pain of losing a son or daughter can last forever.

Many bereaved parents feel isolated in their grief as they watch the children of friends and family members grow up, knowing their own beloved child will never have that chance.

Funeral director Yvonne Parry, who manages Mayfields Woodland Burial Ground and Remembrance Park in Birkenhead, wants to change that, and ignite a light of hope in the hearts of grieving parents with a memorial service to mark the beginning of Bereaved Parents Awareness Month, July.

She said: "When you arrange a child's funeral, especially a very young child, there's not a lot of memories there. With an elderly person there's so many memories you can hang onto, whereas with a child there isn't, so it's important to get what you can from what you have. Fingerprints, handprints - anything you have got.

"We find we talk a lot about what could have happened, what they could have done, the things they will miss out on together.

"These services brings parents together. They realise they're not on their own, there's other people to reach out to. It's a way of connecting with other people, and I think when you're with others who are in the same boat as you, it helps you. It makes you stronger."

The memorial, supported by Southern Co-Op and the Child Of Mine bereavement charity, will take place at the Mayfields Burial Ground at 6.30pm on July 3.

Yvonne, 42, said: "Losing a child affects every familiy differently. Some families go through the cycle of grief and come out the other side stronger. Some really struggle. But one thing I do find is, when they are buried on our grounds, they will come in, talk to us and let us know how they're feeling.

"I think it's because we're the last ones to have been with their loved one. We have that connection with them. We become like a family and a support network itself.

"Sadly, parental bereavement is more common than people think. But people definitely don't expect to outlive their children and it comes as such a shock to parents and they never know what to do or who to turn to.

"It's a reassurance they're not alone. There are people to talk to, there's places to go, there's groups, there's a lot of things out there. Going to the memorial service and remembring their loved one, lighting their candles, having that moment of reflection, I think it all helps.

"Please don't struggle on your own. There are people there for you and we're more than willing to help."

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References

1. ^{^} Boy rushed to hospital after collapsing suddenly at school (www.liverpoolecho.co.uk)
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